How long would my cat wait to eat me after I died?

Cats are cute aren't they? Sure they are when they're sleeping soundly next to you, super fuzzy, curled up in a little ball and purring contently. Awwww so sweet. I have news for you. They are not content. And they are not sleeping either. Your cat is waiting for you to die so that it can eat you. It may even be plotting your death as we speak. Cats are not, as we have been led to believe, domesticated animals. They are really just miniaturized versions of wild animals that have found a sustainable food source. We give them food from a can on a daily basis, put out some water, provide them with something to chase occasionally and if they're lucky give them drugs in the form of catnip. And they are happy with this arrangement. If any of these perks stop however, the gloves will come off. If it is 10:00 in the morning and you are still in bed and the cat has not received its breakfast it may try to wake you up by licking you. Haha. That's not just a lick. That's a taste. Your cat is trying to figure out if you are just sleeping or if you are dead and it can finally eat you. Keep in mind that this beloved animal of yours has five very sharp pointy ends. It has these sharp points for a reason. It is a WILD FUCKING ANIMAL. It may curl up in your lap and be very sweet and cute when it has been well fed but I guarantee you that if you died and it was left alone for more than a day without food in its bowl it would eat you. In my kitty's case it would be more like two hours. But she's special. We have an understanding. If I don't sleep past 11 she doesn't try to eat me. After that, all bets are off.